So Hard To Understand
by Jade R. Raven
Summary: May catches Ash and Misty kissing..and she's not happy. How does she really feel about Ash, will she hate Misty, and what about Tracy? Mays POV One-shot.


Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, that's that.

GothGurl; Hello peoples! OK, I guess you can call this a follow up to So Hard To Say, but it can be read on its own. This idea came from my theory that May has a HUGE crush on Ash (which he doesn't return) and my sudden new liking to Tracy/May. Yeah, thats a weird pairing I know, has anyone else ever thought of it? If you know any stories with that pairing tell me cause I would like to read them. Thank you and on with the story!

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Ash had been taking a long time outside, and so was Misty. So we all had gone outside to find them.

We found them.

Kissing, that is.

......But what about me?

I could almost feel my heart breaking, but I was the only one upset about it. Prof. Oak and Ash's mom just started grinning and looked at each other. Brock was shaking his head in an 'I knew it all along' sort of way, and Max seemed sort of satisfied, like he knew something we didn't. The pair never noticed us as we quietly filed back into the restaurant.

It made me sick.

He had NO RIGHT to be kissing her. He was, after all, my soulmate.

He just didn't know it yet.

You just have to be patient with these things, you just have to sit and wait till they come to their senses, then realize they are madly in love with you.

Thats what love IS.

The group of us sat back down at our table, where Tracy had been waiting (to make sure noone else took our seat). Eventually, the two rejoined us. They never said a word the rest of the evening to each other, both were completely casual, not even noticing the secretive smiles on everyone's face.

'What does he see in her.' I thought in my head, watching Misty intently. She really isn't all that pretty. In fact, she's almost BOYISH. Yuck! What kind of guy would prefer a tomboy over MY feminine charm?!!!

Well, duh, he does.

God damnit! Why are boys so hard to understand????

When we finally left for home, I was still trying to figure it out. What does Misty have that I don't. Sure she's a gym leader, but so is Brock, don't see him making out with Brock.

Eeeeeeew. OK, brain, don't even GO there!

Me, Max, Brock, Tracy and Misty are all staying at Prof. Oaks for the night. His house is nice, lots of fields around where pokemon are sleeping. It's really kind of pretty, since the sun was setting and the pale orange light was reflecting off everything....something like that. The thing I love about sunsets is how it is virtually impossible to explain their beauty, but it is none the less THERE.

Off-topic. Sunsets are not important WHEN YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND IS CHEATING ON YOU!!!!

The Prof. Opens his door, "Well, I don't usually have this many guests over, so I'm afraid there aren't that many bedrooms. Tracy already stays in Gary's old bedroom, Max can stay in the guest room with Brock, and May...well, I have a nice living room." He grinned sheepishly.

Ah, lovely, I get to sleep on a couch!!! This is just NOT my day!

To top it all off, I have to share the living room with Misty.

Stupid Prof. Oak.

'Oh well' I thought as I put on my pajama's. ' I'll just go somewhere else. I don't HAVE to go to bed.' As much as I didn't like the idea of staying up all night, it was better then being in the same airspace as HER.

So I waited till everyone had fallen asleep. Then went out onto the front porch.

I wasn't alone out there either.

Tracy's a bit over-friendly Maril jumped at me the moment I stepped out the door.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!!!!!!!" I like pokemon a lot more then I used to, but I'm still not comfortable with one leaping at my face. Some of them are just CREEPY. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!"

"Maril! Leave May alone!" Tracy got up from where he had been sitting, though I hadn't noticed him, and wrenched the giddy creature off my head. "I-I'm sorry," he stammered. " I gave him some pixie stix and..."

"Hmph, keep your pokemon to yourself!" That probably came out a bit meaner than I meant it to be.....

"I'm sorry." he repeated, blushing slightly. 'Ok, now I feel bad' I thought.

"Sorry I snapped at you." I say, feeling a little guilty.

"I'm sorry Maril bit out a chunk of your hair." He flinched, staring at me. I turn red. Maril giggled (or what I suppose was the pokemon equivalent to giggling) and clapped its tiny paws together. Tracy arched an eyebrow at it, "Shut up you, or you're going back in the pokeball!" Maril immediately stopped its tittering. "So, what are you doing out here at this time of night?"

"You mean besides being assaulted? I'm kidding! (he was looking all nervous when I said that) I'm not really doing anything, I just couldn't sleep." hehe, I'm such a good liar.

Tracy blinked, "Are you sure somethings not bothering you?"Ok, I guess I'm not a very good liar then. He's started blushing again. This happens everything after he says something, like he thinks he's done something wrong.

"No, I'm sure." I lie again. "Anyway, what are YOU doing here?" He seemed to brighten up.

"Sketching." he said cheerfully. He turned and sat back down on a little bench, indicating for me to join him. I did. He picked up an artbook that was at his side and handed it to me. The page was open to a picture of a maril gazing at the stars, standing near a lake which reflected the moon. Even though it wasn't coloured in, it was extremely pretty. I flipped through the pages in awe.

"These are....these are beautiful!" I breathed.

"Really? You really like them?" he seemed pleased, but he was blushing again. I nodded, each page consisted of a beautiful picture of a pokemon, most of which were expertly coloured in with watercolours. But one in particular caught my attention. It was the only one that did not star a pokemon, it was a picture of a girl sitting on a fence with a boy leaning up to kiss her, and in the backround were fields of rippling grass and flowers, with sakura falling around them.

All in the unexplainable beauty of a sunset.

Needless to say, I got a little giddy.

"OH MY GOSH!!! I loooooove this one!!!" I squeled. Tracy leaned over to see which 'this one' I was talking about. He frowned.

" I always thought that one was a bit cheesy." He said bluntly. I gasped.

"But its SO romantic! How did you draw this, the sunset looks so real!!" he shrugged.

"Practise makes perfect."

I'll say, that had to be the most perfect drawing I had ever seen, I'm no art expert, but I culd tell this one was exceptional. Well, maybe not, but it was to me.

Tracy took the sketchpad and examined the picture, "You know, I was originally going to make these two Ash and Misty and give to them as a joke." He smiled. I felt my own grin lide off my face.

Um, Ok, WHAT??

"What do you mean?" I ask, trying to sound calm, now that my thoughts had been forced back to those two again.

He shook his head, obviosly amused, "Those two were going to end up together sooner or later. You don't know what it was like travelling with those two together, they were always biting each others heads off and threatening each other."

I laughed, I mean, it sounded so ridiculous!! "How does that mean they're going to end up together? Are me and Maril destined for each other then?" Maril jumps from his spot on Tracy's lap and glares at me.

Tracy shook his head, "Everybody gets mad, but when people get mad at each other that much it could mean two things; they hate each others guts, or, they like each other. Its only the people you care about who can get you that worked up, and believe me, they DID NOT hate each others guts." Finishing his speech, he turned his sketchbook back to the Maril drawing, and continued to add to it.

I watched him draw for awhile, not saying anything, just thinking about what he had said. People who were in love were supposed to always get along, and cherish each other, and all their moments together. But then again...

Where had I gotten my theories on love?

Teen romance novels.

What did THEY know? According to them, the whole good cop bad cop kidnapping romance was a plausible event.

Well, I felt a bit dumb.

Not to say I wasn't still confused. "But why would they specifically get together? I still don't get what makes him like her over m---other girls." Whew, close one. Luckily he didn't seem to notice my slip. He just shrugged again without looking up from his drawing.

"Its never predictable, a lot of the time it doesn't even make sense, but its still there."

'Kind of like a sunset' I thought. Maril had fallen asleep in Tracy's lap, and watching it started to make me feel a bit tired, I yawned. "So, do you know the answers to any other huge questions? Life after death perhaps?" I said musingly, just joking around. A funny look appeared on his face.

"Ah, you'd have to ask Ash about that one."

HUH????

"What?!"

"Nevermind." he said hurriedly.

Ok, I don't think want to know.

-

" HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Oh this is PRICELESS!!!"

I woke up to my brothers laughter and the flash of a camera. I opened my eyes a bit, still sleepy, to find I was still on the bench on the porch. Whats more, I was leaning on Tracy's shoulder, who was also asleep.

Oops.

Hehe.

Max was still grinning from ear to ear, snapping a new picture every few seconds (which was starting to blind me by the way). "Hey, big sis, can you say 'blackmail'?"

I glared at him, "That's not funny Max! Give me that camera!" Max merely stuck out his tongue and dashed back in the house, laughing maniacly, "GET BACK HERE YOU BRAT!!!!"

After I chased him into the house, I noticed Brock and Misty were already up, and Ash was there as well. Except...he was in his pajama's.

He walked across town in his pajama's?

Once again, I don't want to know! The strange thing is he actually managed to get up earlier then me, usually he's snoring away till 2 in the afternoon.

I'll have to fix that when we're married....wait. He's looking at Misty right now, with a big dopey grin all over his face. He's even ignoring his food!! Although, it is mouldy cereal ... still....he would normally eat it anyway!

But you know whats weird?

It doesn't bother me at all.

I'm serious, he's practically drooling staring at her, he's supposed to be my soulmate...but I really don't care.

Huh. Well, what do you know?

It seems I have somehow fallen out of 'love' with Ash, and I didn't even realize it.

Tracy joined us in the kitchen a bit later, rubbing his eyes. He smiled a bit at me, and I smiled back. My stomach did a sort of little flop, and all of a sudden I start blushing.

I wonder why?

- - - - - - -

GothGurl: Kind of an awkward ending, but I always thought of May as a little clueless. I'm a bad authoress, instead of updating my other stories I write a one-shot, stupid me!! XD.

Oh well, please tell me what you thought of it! My second ever one-shot WOO!! I like writing them.Also, if you want to know how Ash and Misty ended up kissing please read So Hard To Say, its in Ash's point of view so there is more humor, and in my opinion a much better ending!!

REVIEW!!!!!


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